Body Respect

I remember, there was a time a few years ago where I lost a lot of weight from a rigid diet and lots of exercise. I dropped to a couple sizes smaller in clothes, and excitedly went shopping to buy a new wardrobe. After gaining some of the weight back, as will almost always happen with diets, I kept trying to squeeze into those smaller clothes I had bought when I was at my smallest.

Every time I would put them on, I would feel frustrated and discouraged, because it felt like I had "let myself slip" as diet culture likes to teach us, and I would berate my body in the mirror highlighting all the flaws. I would restrict my food and over-exercise justifying it as "discipline" as if I needed to be punished for something. I was a letting myself to go hungry, completing grueling workouts that left my body sore and injured, and constantly squeezing it into clothes that were much too small for it.

At the time, I didn't understand the negative effects on my physical and mental health I was causing. I was struggling to recover from injuries, my digestive system was irregular dispite a nearly "perfect" diet, and I felt a constant feeling like I wasn't good enough. What I thought was self care was unknowingly causing harm.

Self-care has become somewhat of a buzz word, recently, when it comes to health. However, our view of self care tends to be a bit skewed. At its very core, self care is caring for your body's basic needs. This includes being fed, feeling safe, and having rest.

The term "body respect" was something I learned early on in my exploration of intuitive eating. It means that you don't necessarily have to love or even like the way your body looks, but respecting it is an essential part of treating it properly. This really helped me identify what was important when it came to my body. It allowed me to see that feeding myself adequately and not internally criticizing my body were essential foundations of self care that I deserved and needed far more than a smaller pants size.

As I began to implement strategies of body respect, I started to notice a change in my overall well-being and mental state. It felt like a weight off my shoulders, and I was free to enjoy other things in my life aside from constantly thinking about my body, my food, and the size of my clothes.

Here are some strategies that were really helpful in working towards developing respect for my body:

1. Buying clothes that fit my body right now. It's very common in our society to hold on to clothes that are a different size than what we are at the current moment, and to think that it will be motivating to keep them. However, it does the opposite, it produces shame and critical thoughts to yourself about your size. Buying clothes that are a comfortable fabric, size, and cut is a great way to show respect for your body and feel good.

2. Feed your body when it is hungry. Just as you would give your child food if they said that they needed it, you should feed your body when it gives you the signal that it is hungry. No more drinking water to make the hunger signals go away. There are so many factors that will determine how much, how often, and what we eat, that we mustn't question our own body when it tells us that we're hungry even if it's not a time when we could expect to be.

3. Stop staring at yourself in the mirror. When I was deeply entrenched in diet culture and working as a wellness coach, it involved a lot of before and after photos, selfies trying to hold myself in a way that looked perfect, and critiquing my body constantly. That only increased the amount of obsession I had over what I wanted to change about it; even when I was at my smallest body size. When I was as unlearning dieting behaviors, I used a mirror only when it was necessary for things like putting on makeup or a quick outfit check. I stopped analyzing every curve and dimple in the mirror as this only created unattainable standards for myself.

4. Move your body in a way that feels good. Sometimes that may mean intense hiking on a sunny day. Other days that may mean gentle stretching in the dark room. Everyday may be different. Giving yourself the permission to move in a way that feels good and is not to reshape your body will leave it feeling overall much better than beating it into submission. A good question to ask yourself is, if moving my body did not change it in anyway aesthetically, what movement would I like to do right now? I'm working on engaging in physical activity that I did not use when I was caught up in diet culture to avoid triggering restrictive thoughts again.

So, if you want to treat your body with care, think about ways you can show it respect first and foremost. It can be an initial step in beginning to truly care for your body that will go much further than a pedicure or retail therapy.

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